Whether you are a therapist or a member of the public, if you are looking for Relationship Therapy for yourself using the Developmental Model then you can any of the therapists on this website. All of them are trained in the model and have on-going supervision on using it to it’s fullest.
We are teaching this model because we believe it offers people the greatest opportunity for having the best relationship possible.
There’s a lot going on in any relationship. TV and the movies mis-represent what being in relationships is like. They either mistake the first stage of building a relationship (the bonding or “honeymoon” stage) for the whole thing OR they over-emphasise the conflict and bad behaviour to create better drama.
In reality relationships are places where we all have a lot of learning and growing to do. Part of the beauty of the Developmental Model is that, as the name implies, it sees the mistakes we make and stuck places we get to as an inevitable part of developing as a person. In this model we break down the work we have to do into three main areas:
- We have to learn how to be available, reliable and trustworthy as well as loving even when the going gets tough. This is formally known as building stable Attachment
- We have to learn who we are and what we want AND to be able to communicate about that with our partner while AT THE SAME TIME giving our partner room to be themselves and talk about what they want. This acceptance and negotiation of difference is formally known as Differentiation.
- To achieve both of those goals we have to learn to recognise and manage our self-protective impulses. To find non-destructive ways of handling conflict, anxiety, anger and fear. This strand of self-regulation draws heavily on our growing understanding of Neuroscience.
If you are interested in learning about yourself and growing into a better relationship this way then talk to one of our highly trained therapists at www.couplestherapynz.com